Sleep is such a natural thing that we tend to think that it should come naturally. But, for some, it can be difficult to fall asleep. For others, it can be difficult to stay asleep and get a good night’s sleep. And for some, both falling asleep and staying asleep is a problem.

The truth is falling asleep and getting a good night’s rest can be tough for those who have busy lives and a lot on their minds. That’s most of us.

Here, we’ll explain why we can just force ourselves to sleep, ways to set up a good pre-bedtime routine to promote better sleep, and so extra tips on how to fall asleep once you wake up.

Why You Can’t Make Yourself Sleep

When we want to go to sleep, we tend to focus on sleep, But what’s more effective is to focus on being more relaxed. We can’t simply make ourselves sleep, but we can consciously increase our level of relaxation. For example, we can take a few deep breaths or lie down instead of standing, both of which make us more relaxed. We can also take progressively more and more steps to deepen our state of relaxation more and more: lie down and take a few deep breaths, etc.

We can’t just will ourselves to sleep.

Or can we? Sleep is really just a very deep level of relaxation. This is why progressive relaxation can and does make us fall asleep. So, instead of trying to sleep, relax!

Knowing why we have difficulty relaxing, falling asleep, and getting a good night’s rest can help us find a solution. The first place to look for the causes of poor or inadequate sleep is our behavior prior to going to sleep. Some behaviors tend to make it difficult to relax and fall asleep, while others make it easier. Everyone is different and we all change with age. But, there are some useful generalizations or tips to consider.

Tips – Behaviors That Typically Impede Falling Asleep

• Watching TV before bed. This includes watching TV in bed.
• Working at the computer or doing work just before bed.
• Eating, especially sweets and heavy foods, before bed.
• Drinking alcohol, which can cause disrupted sleep, including waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back to sleep.
• Drinking coffee or caffeinated drinks in the evening.
• Going to sleep late. For the body, it’s best to sleep before 10:00 pm.

Tips – Behaviors That Typically Facilitate Sleep

• Avoid any of the above behaviors.
• Avoid reading fascinating or intriguing books just before bed or in bed.
• Create a calm and comfortable environment where you sleep, and don’t use that room for a lot of other activities.
• Turn off the lights and night lights (this includes turning off devices with LED lights or putting them in another room), and close the drapes to create a darker more peaceful atmosphere.
• Use earplugs or ambient noise generators to dull or eliminate distracting noises.
• Establish a “winding down” routine that you initiate about one hour before going to sleep. This should include the things that relax you and take your mind off your busy day, worries, etc. If an hour seems too long, start with 20 minutes and work up to an hour over time.
• Stretch and relax, especially the muscles that give you discomfort or where you tend to hold tension.
• Use an appropriate breathing exercise such as taking deep, slow regular breaths; comfortably extending the length of inhales and exhales, and sending the breath to areas of the body that are tense or need attention.
• Listen to relaxation tapes or independently go through a relaxation exercise.
• Visualize a relaxing environment by listening to guided imagery tapes or independently going through a visualization exercise.
• Activate acupressure points related to relaxation and sleep quality and inducement. There are a number of recommended points depending on the system and practitioner. Experiment and find the ones that work for you.
• Drink warm milk or hot calming tea like German chamomile (Matricaria recutita) before bed.
• Take a warm bath and include aromatics (essential oils) that induce relaxation and sleep (see aromatherapy below or our blog on essential oils for better sleep).
• Take a warm foot bath (see our blog on foot baths).
• Exercise regularly during the day. For some, exercise before bed can keep them awake or result in restless sleep.
• Use appropriate aromatherapy diffuser oils (see aromatherapy below or our blog on essential oils for better sleep).

Guided Meditations for good night’s sleep

Sometimes it isn’t easy to settle down and practice one of the above-suggested methods to help you fall asleep or get back to sleep once you’ve woken up. Guided meditations can be very helpful in this case. Meditations are designed to relax you and lull you to sleep. The soft voice guides you to take steps that will help you let go of that anxious or overactive mindset and cultivate relaxation. If this appeals to you, try my free downloadable guided meditations.

Aromatherapy for a good night’s sleep

The best ways to apply aromatherapy to enhance relaxation and get a good night’s sleep are 1)  in a warm bath, and 2) dispersed in the air with a diffuser. The bath induces sleep and can promote deeper, more restful sleep. The diffuser does the same, but it can be applied continuously throughout the night as well.

Best Essential Oil For Sleep

Probably the best essential oil for sleep is lavender (lavandula angustifolia). Lavender helps you relax and fall asleep, and even better, it works like a charm to put you back to sleep when you wake up in the middle of the night. Lavender promotes a deeper sleep too. This is particularly beneficial for those with jet lag and a shorter sleep cycle. But, unfortunately, not everyone likes lavender and it doesn’t work on absolutely everyone. In addition, those with low blood pressure are cautioned not to use lavender regularly or in high concentrations (consult a professional aromatherapist for more information).

Thankfully, there are a number of alternatives to lavender such as German and Roman Chamomile (Matracaria recutita and Chamaemelum nobile), Marjoram (Origanum marjorana), Mandarian (Citrus reticulata), Orange (Citrus sinensis) and Valerian (Valeriana fauriei). Frankincense (Boswellia carteri) and Ravensara (Ravensara aromatica) will also help where stress is a primary factor.

For the bath

Use just a few drops of good quality essential oil in a carrier that will mix well with water (whole – not fat-free or skim – milk, salts, vegetable glycerin, and vegetable oils). You don’t want the drops to remain separated, float at the surface and potentially irritate your skin. DO NOT put more than a few drops. More is not better. Higher concentrations can irritate the skin and some essential oils that are calming (including lavender) can be stimulating in higher concentrations.

For the diffuser

Try just a few drops as well. A strong scent can be overwhelming, a distraction, and make it hard to sleep. In this case, less can be better. There are different types of diffusers so read the instructions on how to operate them and do not leave candle diffusers burning as they can be a fire hazard. A few (2 or 3) drops on the diffuser pad, in the receptacle, or in water in the diffuser dish should be enough. Remember, a little goes a long, long way. And, if it’s too strong to the point of bothering you, it’s too distracting, annoying, and not doesn’t help you relax.

Some people put a few drops of essential oils on a tissue and inhale the scent with a few deep breaths. Convenient personal inhalers containing a deep relaxation or sleep-inducing scent act in the same way as the tissue and can be very effective and reusable.

With lavender (and only good quality Lavandula angustifolia), you can apply it to full strength. Most essential oils are too irritating when used in a high concentration or full strength, but lavender is an exception. You can put just a drop on the tip of the nose or just under the tip. This is a fantastic option for the traveler.

Caution: When using aromatherapy, get advice from a qualified aromatherapist concerning safe and appropriate dilution and application.

Pleasant dreams!